Arthritis at 21? Not as far-fetched as it seems.
At 21, my knees are wrecked.
A ruptured ACL and partial MCL and meniscus tear when I was 14, the result of a bad pivot at Santa Clara University soccer camp. It shattered my dreams of playing soccer in college after it forced me to miss a season of high school.
Despite my half-hearted attempts at rehab–I was only 14, and distracted by boys, clothes, rebelling against my parents–I started playing on an ultra-competitive soccer team just six months after surgery. However, my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I quit and started playing tennis and lacrosse–ultimately ending up as the captain of both my senior year.
I continued playing lacrosse at Chico State. My knees hurt, but I found ways to manage–taping huge bags of ice onto both knees before and after games, rubbing Icy Hot all over my legs at night, trying out various braces and wraps. My right knee hurt since I relied on it while babying my left. I spent a year and a half playing with ebbing pain–I was only a freshman in college, and distracted by boys, clothes, rebelling against my coach. I finally went to see a doctor, and my worst fears were confirmed–I had ruptured my ACL again, and would have to endure a two separate surgeries to fix it.
I quit the lacrosse team, and joined a sorority with the intent of playing sports. After one bad pivot in a basketball game, I decided that I wouldn’t have another surgery as the result of sorority sports (as much as I loved ADPi, that’s just embarrassing). I spent the rest of college in the gym, alternating between spinning, yoga and aerobics classes. I had spurts of confidence in my knee when I would go on jogs, do the stadium stairs, jump rope. Sometimes it would go well, other times it wouldn’t.
Now I’m debating joining an adult lacrosse league in the Bay Area. I miss playing sports: having the camaraderie of a team (which I also found in a sorority), being active, winning something. I’ve struggled with the decision to even reach out to team organizers– all because of my knee. Am I being stupid and irresponsible? After reading an health article in The New York Times stating that cartilage tears in knees lead to exceptionally early-onset arthritis, I feel like I am. I’m setting myself up for a lifetime of chronic pain, the possibility of another knee surgery, the likelihood of needing to have one or both knees replaced.
But still I debate. My parents would kill me if they even knew I was considering it– getting health insurance coverage after the surgeries was an exhausting ordeal. I know it’s a huge risk, but aren’t I supposed to be young and reckless? I can’t afford another knee surgery, but God, do I want to be on a lacrosse field again.
Young and reckless, with the possibility of early-onset arthritis? Or responsible and restrained, still with the possibility of early-onset arthritis?
I’m only 21. Find to find my stick and goggles.
Last game played with Chico State Lacrosse
